Video Transcription

I wouldn't have been able to actually heal through that trauma because yeah I'm only 35 and I'm a I'm a two-time widow, I don't wish that on like my enemy's enemy, but it definitely is something that it's just part of our story.

My name is Monique Lausei Fuiava, I go by Mo because it's just a lot easier than the mouthful. I was a division one softball player here at the University of Oregon.

Fast forward after I got married, I got married the first time in 2014. My daughter was born in October, my husband passed in December and then we moved back to Vegas. Fast forward a couple years, our really good family friend and I started dating. Then we got married, and in 2021 he passed away from COVID. And then that's when I became the two-time widow single mommy of my daughter who's still here which is Lau Sai.

Back then like how I graduated from U of O. My accolades and my athletic career was what defined me. I knew God was a thing. I knew Jesus was a person and like he saved me, but I didn't really have a relationship with Christ and I didn't have a relationship with God. I kind of just did the churchy thing and went to church on Sundays, checked off my box, enjoyed the rest of my Sunday. But then like Monday through Saturday, I lived a life that didn't reflect that I believed in the Lord.

So, I had to find a ground, a common ground, excuse me, not even a common ground, a solid ground which was the word and if I didn't have that, my life would have been pretty sad. Like I still walked around, I truly believe that I walked around with the joy of the Lord and I didn't realize how much it was my strength until I had to go through some hard stuff.

Without the Lord and without Bible study and without like my pastors in my life. I have a lot of spiritual mentors that surrounded me at that time not only with prayer but just with words of encouragement, checking up on me taking my daughter, making sure she was good. Had it not been for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and like my intimate time with Him, I wouldn't have been able to like actually heal through that trauma. I definitely would have let my kid down.

Whether it's a Bible or whatever other book you're reading as a parent, there's never a section that helps you walk your kids through suicidal thoughts under the age of 10 - my daughter was

Seven. For a while it sucked, like having that conversation but just being able to walk her through that, it only came because of my relationship with the Lord.

So I know it's going to sound crazy, but I think that's the beauty of our testimony nobody can ever argue with your testimony. If you said God did it or God said it, who am I to tell you that it didn't happen?

I just remember there's this one day after my second husband passed away, my daughter had a breakdown. She was doing a math problem, couldn't figure it out and just started balling. I don't know how to gentle parents, so I'm frustrated because she's crying and I think there's no reason. And she's like, ‘I miss daddy,’ and I was like oh my gosh. So she's crying, I hug her, I start crying. It was the weirdest thing, but when I left her and made sure she was good, I sat on the couch in our other room and I just sat there and I just felt God hug me, and I just started bawling and I am not a crier.

The scripture that came to mind was Romans 8:28, “All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and those who are called according to his purpose.” And I truly believe that that's been like my model ever since I buried my first husband and when I saw that, I just

understood like, God doesn't lie. There's no way that I can find anything good and bad in the word that He won't come through on. So, it was just such a surreal experience but I knew that God was going to take care of me and my daughter.

So now, any challenge that I face, I legit just look at it and I remember Romans 8:28.

Coming back now to serve in this capacity as the female chaplain for the University of Oregon, to me it's truly a dream job that I didn't even know I wanted. With FCA, with Fellowship of Christian Athletes, not only do I get to connect with these kids on a special level as an alumni at the University of Oregon, but also I get to walk them through their relationship with Christ. These kids need to know that there are people there that care about them their accolades and without a jersey on. Now that I get to back come back with this, it truly is the highlight of I guess my career as a softball player. It's something that I never thought would be anything that I could do because I thought the only kind of impact I could have happened in 2008 to 2012 on the field and I'm just grateful that God had bigger plans for me.