Marriage Restored after Betrayal & Divorce

Hope for Struggling Marriages

Young and in love eventually turned into heartache, betrayal and divorce. But a surprising turn of events brought Eric and Andrea back together, and they didn’t know marriage could be this good!

We hope Eric and Andrea’s real-life, vulnerable story gives you hope for yours!

There’s hope for your marriage and your life - even in the middle of heartbreak, mess and disappointment.  #divorce #divorcecare #healingafteraffair #betrayal #eugeneoregon #overflowhope #truelove #valentinesday2024

Video Transcription

I'm Andrea. And I'm Eric. Andrea and I met in high school. Married very young. We're both 21. It was just very natural for us to be like, well, yeah, let's do life together.

We're we have fun every day but I think that kind of wear because you do life together and that means you're sick together and you are supposed to take care of each other til death do you part which is like it's just not realistic and so things started to wear and tear. I think we just got no like real examples of how you do this. Both of our parents were divorced. Lots of infidelity, lots of like things we saw that we just were like that's just what happens when you're married. We did everything everyone else was doing. You know, buy a house, have a kid, have careers, money, all the vacations, do all the things, Facebook, boom, we are the coolest always, and then like life just happens and you see those people kind of crash and we were definitely that crash for sure.

We were really more starting to become more of roommates than husband and wife.

I took a traveling job. That's the pivotal moment of kind of when things fell apart. We're in the money
world. So, yes, this job is great. It's like all the things. You know, courtside seats at basketball games and
all the things that come with traveling in different cities. It was exciting for me. It was like that honeymoon phase when we did reconnect.

Then the second year round like bitterness, resentment, like oh you're courtside at a basketball game or a son puked 15 times in the bedroom and I had to work the you know it's like all the like the real life stuff like all the things he's missing like parenting single and I care about my career and my life so I'm like a very you know narcissistic like it's about me married to a narcissistic it's about me and now we are like collision course like Eric is turning he's getting ready longer than me now like there's watches to match like every outfit and shoes. I feel like I'm in reality TV.

Finally, it just blows up and we're in a car across the street from our house and I'm just like, you have to tell me what the heck is going on and he just told me, you know, I'm having an affair. The husband is like really mad and it just demolished everything.

I had to talk with the boys and tell them, you know, what had happened and is going to happen and I moved out and got my own little apartment which was terrible. Just being a part for my family just it really started to put things in perspective a little bit but not enough for me to stop what I was doing and and come back.

I went to divorce care and that like changed everything for me. One of the nurses I worked with
told me about because she just knew what I was going through and I'm like, okay, because the Christian thing, I'm like, huh, okay. I can do it. I made Casey come with me and we went and I had to sign a little thing that I would go to three classes before I quit and then I couldn't date anyone while I was going through the class and it was like this precious little contract.

Everyone is miserable. Everyone hates their life. Everyone's crying. I mean, snots coming down everyone's face just like me. There's 15,000 Kleenexes in everyone's pocket. You know, these are my people. We're
talking the same language but there is Jesus Christ and everything and thank you Jesus that you make me sign the three because I literally would have bounced the first one like I can't do this much Jesus I mean I just want to be around these people but maybe they have something that's like not this.

Eric and I get in this humongous fight and it's like you know hang up you know mid sentence slam and I just
lose my mind cry you know like where you just fall on the freaking ground and you what's up what's up cry and you can't breathe and the stupid Divorce Care book was just like right there and it's like every chapter at the very end it makes you like say the Lord's prayer you know like I give my life to you Jesus and I give everything that I did. I just said that prayer like read it word for word and I just said you know Jesus if you're real like seriously take this prayer and it was like all over my body tingling and it just like, it just filled me up. Every day was better and better but every day was like more and more Jesus and it was like a hunger and it was just that drive was Jesus. It wasn't running. It wasn't ICU. It wasn't this. It was just Jesus and then, Jesus took care of the boys and Jesus took care of all my people.

So, this transformation is happening in her and it's it hasn't happened for me. You know, she decided that it's
it's time to let me go and I didn't understand, you know, we've been together so long. That's when it really shook me to the point where I would like to find out how this is possible. You know, what is it she's reading? What is she doing to be happy again to deep down happy?

And I was. I was really happy like I knew Jesus had me either way. We went to the court to sign our divorce papers and I was so good like I was so good.

That really motivated me to want to look into it for myself. So, I started to read the Bible. I had to continue to travel for work and things started to happen at home, kind of unravel at home. Our son, Ivy, got really sick. Andrea got in a bad biking accident and I packed my things in the middle of the night and got on a plane
from San Francisco and flew home. It was her transformation that was my motivation to want to become a better person and try to figure out how can we make this work. You know, I wanted that really more than anything.

I felt like, okay, God, then, if I'm changed like this, then, you have to be able to change Eric too. So, I'm just going to wait and see. We sat at a park and talked about it 'cuz it's so freaking ridiculous because we're divorced now. How is this going to work?

It was during time that I decided to accept Jesus into my heart which was the greatest decision I've ever made then things started to happen the next day I had the opportunity to pick up Brady from Camp Harlow and comes running up to me and dad you know guess what I did last night and I was like oh what I accepted Jesus into my heart we started to we got baptized together as a as a family which was which was awesome.

Once we both like on board God Jesus take it all. It's like there's it's not like you know the Yellow Brick Road and we're all happily ever after. It's like no then we put on our our training gear and we're like okay we're demolished from the ground. Now we have to be rebuilt and like Jesus is like center. So we were like in full
on marriage boot camp. Like everything was marriage. We did our devotion and like read every book you could read.

Me starting to unravel myself. Like I'm all the same crap you know like stop acting like you're the victim and it was just we've changed so much about our marriage and it's like holy crap like god thank you because I didn't even know this could exist to be this attractive to your spouse this like excited to see them and like ride the crazy train with me and not kick me off. God is ripping me apart and like it sucks but it's like really good you know and it hurts but we always get ten times the reward after.

That was 2015 and so this ride is still really new with with Jesus but we've we've just jumped in with both feet because we know how much of a gift it is.

Yeah, it's like a miracle. It is. And our families have seen the miracle so it's like it spreads. And the people that gotta watch it gotta see Eric's transformation that's literally like watching a butterfly. So what Jesus has done for us has really truly rounded out our lives, parenting, our marriage, our communication. He's wanted us
to find more ways to serve him.

Marriages and relationships nowadays. It's so easy to just give up. I can just go start a new relationship, no problem. Yeah. But the beauty is in the work. It really truly is and it's something that we never
would have done without Jesus.

So, we had a great opportunity to begin to serve together at Marriage Retreats. We've had the opportunity to connect with dozens of couples throughout the last couple years of hosting marriage small groups. Getting to see the transformations from week 1 to week 6 or week eight is so life-giving to us and we know that God does it all and we just want to be there to help people see that light.

We're just like now all in and I remember being on probably the most beautiful vacation, the most cookie life
I could be in. Training for a marathon, in my best shape, laying in the sun with a cocktail, you know, like living
my best life and feeling what is missing? Like, why do I still feel like this huge hole and it like never feels okay like buy a brand-new car. I still feel this like why am I not happy? Like, I have this doting husband. I have amazing kids. Why am I like craving stuff all the time and I think when I talked about that tingling all over, it was also like that feeling like that feeling of that like everything is done like you don't have anymore hunger like I met and it just that has never gone away.

If you're curious about Jesus and want to really know what he's about, you don't have to look very far. It's all right there in front of you every single day. It really just takes changing your perspective on how you look at life to really know Jesus's heart and he has shown us over and over.

Yeah, ask, honestly. Just ask God to show you and I feel like there's that slow shift of you start to see it.

Yeah. And you start to open up your eyes more.